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You Know You’re Pregnant If…

This post is for baby “Rae” (or whatever we’re going to name you). And it’s for me…so we can both remember what you’re doing to me during this pregnancy. 🙂 You’ve actually been very good to me, but there are just so many funny things that come along with pregnancy in general and I wanted to document some of the best ones.

You know you’re pregnant if…

There’s no comfortable position except for laying down. Sitting up cramps the baby too much and standing is rough on the feet. It’s just tough to know where to put yourself.

Nothing in the world feels better than a foot rub at the end of a long day.

Many times when you laugh or sneeze, you involuntarily pee a little. Always good.

You find that you are half consciously muttering to yourself under your breath as you walk, “Stop waddling, stop waddling….”

Some other person’s legs must have come in one night, stolen your real legs and taken up residence at your hip joints.

You often struggle to think of the word you want to say, so you resort to awkward hand motions and grunting, hoping that someone will fill in the blank.

You have dreams that would make you millions if they could be turned into movies.

Eating has real consequences. There’s gas, and heartburn, and then the baby’s reaction to what you ate, which could include any combination of gymnastics, lap swimming and parkour in utero.

For some reason, there is really no concern in your mind over the fact that someone (or multiple someones) may have just seen your underwear. And the very fact that you find yourself frequently in these kinds of situations to begin with – a clear indication of pregnancy. [Think large belly in the way while trying to awkwardly bend down to put on toddler’s shoes while wearing a dress.] In these moments, you dismiss any sense of concern over potential inappropriateness by simply reminding yourself, “You are pregnant.” This statement seems to make flashing people somehow just not count. And it’s sort of true. Let’s be honest…no one is looking.

The noises coming from your hips and lower back are reminiscent of the Rice Krispies’ tagline: “snap, crackle, pop.”

When you get in bed at night, you feel like you earned it big time. Ahhh, finally! The luxury of rest. Getting off your feet and curling up around a great body pillow (awesome invention) is your reward for a long, demanding day. And then you realized you mostly sat in a chair all day and ate snacks.



At What Cost?

You are so smart and sometimes a little sneaky too. You are also fast and decisive, so when opportunity presents itself, you strike with fury. Lately, I find myself making constant judgement calls and calculated decisions about every day kind of things because when you’re involved, I have to first ask myself, “What price am I willing to pay to accomplish xyz task?” Continue reading

“I Dest a Yittle Boy” …and other amazing things you say

IMG_4290This is a list to be continued. I intend to add to it over the next few months so we have another catalog of the great stuff you are saying in this next season of your little life as you are quickly approaching 3! Your verbal skills are getting more impressive, but the content of the conversation is still just as hilarious.

  • You like to label things and refer to them as “my peshal sings” (my special things). And you have a bunch of them – some are actual items (like your treasure maps or the fort you make for yourself against the wall when you open the front door and laundry room door into each other) and some are actions (like when you build a tower with the couch cushions or when you bury your paw patrol figurines in the dirt in the garden and then immediately dig them up, acting so impressed with yourself that you discovered such an unexpected treasure).

Continue reading